Day 30-Christmas Reflections

Tonight Rah and I are sitting in the recliner, wrapped up in a blanket, with the fake fireplace going, cat on the lap, and Rah is munching on some much needed Doritos.  Jesse is plopped in the chair eating his favorite Sweet Chili Doritos which I might add are not too bad!  We are wrapping up tonight for yet another year and we find ourselves thinking back on the past 4 years of blogging.  We decided tonight that we would reflect back and share with you what we have learned through the course of our blog journey.  I think doing it like David Letterman's top 10 seems like a fun way to do it.

1. A 30 day commitment to writing is significant especially in the holidays.  
• As much as Rah and I have tried to only focus on one another, we recognize that this year we have a much smaller following than there has been in the past.  In a world where "likes" and numbers somehow make us feel as though we matter more, it is hard not to pay attention to that.  We can see each evening that around 50+ people are consistently reading.  We also know that we have been on a significant downward spiral since year 2. In many ways this is a tough pill to swallow.  
2. Being inspirational often happens totally by mistake.
• We have never thought that either one of us was particularly inspirational; however, on occasion someone has let us know that something that we said struck a chord.  Sometimes those comments were really what got us through some really tough stuff.  In many ways writing really makes one very vulnerable.  There is a lot of each of us written in the words, and if inspiration happens, it is mostly by mistake. 
3. Ever heard of WRITER'S BLOCK!
• UFF DA this is tough to work through.  Rah and I have many days that are just not conducive to writing.  Sometimes there are so many roadblocks to the writing process that you just want quit, but the blog needs to be written.  I cannot tell you how DIFFICULT this is!  It IS a real thing and it totally bites when it happens.
4. Sometimes people need to catch up.
• A lot of the time we will notice a surge in numbers and it appears that some folks are catching up on several days when they have time.  This is a busy time of the year, and perhaps adding one more thing to "read" is more of a challenge than one would imagine. I know that I need to be in the right space to write, but I also need to be in the right place to read.  My heart and mind have to be open to hearing the message.  Catching up is okay.
5. Writing creatively is tough!
• Right brain, left brain, no brain!  You just cannot be creative some days no matter how much you try!!!!  This is especially difficult with Rah's school and my work world.  I do a ton of technical writing and she is writing papers for school.  If daily life has knocked us down, this is even worse.  Some blogs we read and just think "well that sucked!"
6. Giving does not just have to take place at Christmas.
• I think that giving at Christmas is wonderful, but I also think it is important for people to find ways to pay if forward all year long.  Bobby Bones called this Pimpin Joy!  It means that you do things for others just because you can.  In the holiday season funds are often limited, but maybe throughout the year it is a tish easier.  Do it when you can and sometimes give when it hurts . . . Rah and I are pretty good at this!  
7. The Norman Rockwell picture of Christmas is really not accurate because we live in a Baby Jesus world.  It is hard to be creative when the world has knocked you on your keaster!
• We expect Christmas to be, look, and feel a certain way, but quite frankly, I wonder where that comes from?  The reality is, Christmas is a pretty rough time of the year as many are struggling amidst the chaos of life.  The hope comes from a child born years ago that brought grace for humankind.  With out faith, hope is seemingly lost.  The truth is that the Baby Jesus world is bleak but filled with love.  When we let God work through us, we bring light into a world that is often pretty dismal and dark.
8. Happy, happy, happy
• To be happy, you have to kind of be in the ZONE!  Rah and I both have to be in the right place, space, and the environment has to be right for the writing world to be a happy one!  Take a piece or two out and there can be an environmental block to the writing process.  Happy is a cool feeling.  We love the things that make us laugh making the blog so much FUN to write for that night.  
9. Tears are okay!   
• Some things in this world make your heart happy and some things in this world make your heart hurt.  We have experienced BOTH!  There have been nights where through the words the tears have seemed to steadily flow.  We have had nights when we were so happy that tears trickled down our cheeks.  We have had nights when life knocked us down and we cried.  And then we have had times when we have cried for seemingly no reason at all, but guess what, tears are OK!
10. Writing a letter to someone that you love is way easier than writing FOR someone. 
• In this moment of time, with where we are at in our lives, this years blog was all that we could handle.  Through that we discovered that it is much easier to write for ourselves than it is to try and be inspirational for others.  Rah is inspirational to me and I believe I am an inspiration to her.  For this year, that was what mattered most.  

Maybe we will pop up during the year for a month and give the holiday blog a rest . . . who knows?

Love and Blessings to All in 2016,

Sheila and Sarah

Day 29 - Christmas Surprises

Dear Rah,

Merry Christmas Eve!!!  It seems kind of weird not to be with you on Christmas Eve, but alas life has changed a bit and our boys are working shift work.  I decided, rather early on, that rather than spending the evening alone having a pity party, I was going to surprise my sister and just show up on her doorstep.  She invited me a couple of weeks ago, and I am not gonna lie, I really didn't even respond one way or another.  I think I probably hurt her feelings or maybe even upset her a bit; however, because Minnesota weather is often a major variable, I did not want to commit until I was 100% sure that I could make it.  When I talked to her on the phone yesterday, I felt as though she was a little distant with me. Grams alluded to the fact that she was disappointed that I hadn't even responded.  I chuckled to myself . . . MWAHHHHHH!

Grams knew that I was coming and she told Paige so she could tell Uncle Paul as he is the cook.  Paige told Mariah this morning so she was finally in the loop.  I talked to you on the phone so you know that I was open to just letting the scene play out and riding the wave. The moment was priceless.  You should have seen the shock on her face!  She started to cry and said, "Ohhhhhhh, you're here!"  I cried too and we just hugged one another!  It was a wonderful Christmas moment!

We have spent the day just visiting, snacking on some treats, and cuddled up in blankets. We played a couple games of JENGA which is always good for a few laughs. Uncle Paul and Auntie made an AMAZING prime rib!  I know that you do not eat meat, but DANG it was good. CJ was here too and he is a hoot!  Remind me to to tell you what Rosie said about Gram's gift!  It is NAUGHTY so I cannot post it in the blog, but it was HILARIOUS.  Then we opened a few gifts.  I LOVE Aveda products!!!!  Grams gave me my Christmas jammies early so I would fit in with the rest of the group. We all put them on and just continued to open gifts.  It was a perfect evening although I do miss my own babies!!!

I know that you are with Pops tonight and I hope you had a wonderful evening too filled with memories and laughter.  BTW . . . one year ago today, it was one month until your wedding day!  I remember thinking that the countdown had begun, and literally as soon as Christmas was over, we hit the ground running preparing for your wedding day to Jesse.  In one month, you will celebrate your first anniversary.  The time goes so quickly Rah!  I miss you today, but am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.  

I love you and Merry Christmas Eve baby girl!
Mom

P.S. Boe and Taylor got engaged today!  My friend Karin and I talked yesterday and she is having an AMAZING Christmas.  This will be the topper on an already perfect Christmas!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mama,

Your post made me tear up a bit tonight. I am SOOO happy that you're spending the evening with Auntie and the gang! I love that you chose to surprise Auntie. That is a wonderful Christmas gift. Mariah sent me a snap the second you got there, which put a smile on my face. Then I saw the picture on Facebook, and again, it made me smile. Of course I do miss you too. Christmas Eve has not been the same since you and Dad separated but everyone is doing their best to make it through the holidays the best way that we are able to. Through the moments of togetherness and the moments of solitude, we always make it through. 

I am writing this blog from the den tonight since my laptop is dead and the charger is broken. The second I sat down in this chair it brought me back to my high school days, chatting with Jesse on MSN Messenger until all hours of the night. I remember a number of times you and Dad coming down to tell me that I needed to go to bed, but somehow Jesse and I could never say goodbye. Luckily, we never actually had to as we are now bound together by contract. =) 

Dad and I went to Auntie Linda's early this evening for dinner. It was really nice to spend some time with her. I don't see her enough. We decided to go there around 5:00ish so we could visit alone before dinner at 7:00 when others arrived. We all talked about how this time last year we were crunching to get everything done for the wedding. I can hardly believe a year has (almost) come and gone already. It has been difficult at times, but it has been beautiful. 

After dinner Dad and I came home to open gifts from each other. Jordan, Sam, Jesse and I all bought Dad a motorcycle vest that he really wanted. He'll put his patches on it when he gets them ordered. He LOVED it! He also opened his gifts from Santa Sarah, which was a couple of goodies, a really awesome long sleeve Harley shirt, and a Harley beer glass that came with a bottle opener and a coaster. Santa Sarah knows her family! Dad got me a pair of CrossFit lifters, Reebok capri pants and Reebok shorts. They all fit perfectly. Then he got Jesse and I a two-pack of Sonicare Spin Toothbrushes, and a nice cutlery set. I'm pretty pumped.

When I was on my drive home today, I was listening to a Joe Rogan podcast. Jesse is OBSESSED with Joe Rogan and he has listened to literally every single podcast, which is hundreds, so if I have a long drive I usually turn on a podcast too. They're really interesting and they make the time go by quickly. Today I chose to listen to the podcast with Molly Crabapple, who is an American artist and journalist. I'm not going to go in-depth with the podcast, but there was a portion where Joe Rogan asked her what assignment she's been on that terrified her the most. She said that she was in Syria a few months ago and she had traveled to a city that has been bombed and then bulldozed and was now almost completely flattened. She explained that she was wondering through and taking photographs of what used to be an old house with just a small portion of the house remaining, when she saw that there was an older man still living in there. She said it was absolutely heartbreaking to know there used to be a beautiful city with real houses and now people are basically living in rubble. The only way she could describe the scene was as if it were a scene from Mad Max. I thought to myself that I haven't seen Mad Max before so I couldn't vision what she was referring to. Much to my surprise, when I got to Dad's, I found a brand new DVD of Mad Max in 3D. I told him about that portion of the podcast and then asked if we could watch the movie tonight. Now, that is what we are off to do to wrap up our Christmas together.

I hope you have a great rest of the night at Auntie's and Uncle Paul's. Can't wait to see you tomorrow night. Please give everyone hugs for me! 

Merry Christmas Eve!

Most!

Day 28

Dear Mom,

As you know, my computer cord broke today so I have to write REALLY fast. I only have 7% battery left. Jesse took my computer and charger in to Geek Squad for me and they figured out that the big square part of the charger is what's broke. They said that as long as my computer is less than a year old that Apple warranty would replace the charger. After I called Apple Care, they told me to take it to make computer and charger to the place in the mall and they would get me set up with a replacement. Luckily, Jesse was still in town so he did that for me too. It'll be 7-10 business days before I get the new one so that bites but at least this happened while I'm on break. When I come to your place on Christmas Day, I'll probably borrow your charger to get this baby up to 100% while I wait.

Yesterday was a lot of fun, thank you for coming to spend time with us and for all the gifts! And this morning was nice too. You and Grandma were snuggled in the spare bed and invited me to plop my butt right in the middle. After that, we made some coffee, had toast, and got to chat a bit more before you guys had to take off. I always enjoy having company over, but this morning was especially special! I wish the day could've lasted longer. Let's do it again soon. =) 

Alright I am down to 3% so I'm going to wrap up. I'll have to write from my iPad tomorrow, which is never fun! I had to do that a couple times last year and for whatever reason, Blogger doesn't work well with the iPad. I work tonight from 5:00-close . . . hopefully it'll be busy so I can make some moolah! Then tomorrow early afternoon I'll head home to spend Christmas Eve with Dad, Bigboy and Skittles. It'll be nice to relax! 

I was able to get my kitty pictures uploaded while I was writing so I have to show you a few of the ones I took yesterday. The first one is of Booboo chewing on her gift, the second is when I attempted to put in the Santa hat, and the third is of Grayboy when I was wrapping gifts. He found the ribbon/bow container to be super comfortable. He's naughty but the picture is adorable. I wish I had some of Peanut but he's a chicken butt and wouldn't come out. 

Hope you have a good rest of your day today!! 

Love you most!

Rah

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Rah,

I also really enjoyed last night and it was fun to wake up this morning and crowd into Gram's bed.  We used to do this when we were kids, then you kids would pile in, and now we are all grown up, still doing the same thing!  When I saw her light on this morning, I knew she was up and away I went.

I am really tired tonight.  I did not sleep well the night before last, and last night, well your cat is NAUGHTY!  Grey Boy knocks everything off your counter until the last thing plops to the floor.  Then when nobody gets up, he chases after Snickers.  She screeches and whines!  They are really quite awful.  When I sleep in the spare bedroom, I don't really notice their chaos, but I wanted Grams to have a good nights sleep and we went to bed late.  

I had a tough time getting to sleep last night!  FRENCH PRESS COFFEE IS LIKE A QUADRUPLE SHOT OF EXPRESSO AND I WAS BUZZZZZED!  It is amazing coffee, but better for the morning.  Grams had a tough time sleeping too and I am thinking that just might be the culprit!  UFF!

The roads home today were pretty good until Climax.  I hit black ice at Crookston on the back roads.  It was pretty hairy and I really hate it when you really do not know how bad things are.  Tonight it is snowing again!  REALLY!?????  I thought the only "CHANCE" of snow was yesterday, and weather  person newsflash, yesterday is OVER!  I would really like to be wrong at my job all the time and still get paid!  I guess they really are not God therefore they are just guessing.  The news is on and now there is snow off and on all week!!!!  UFF!!!!!

On the way home I went and saw Sharon Davidson's headstone which just came in and was placed by her grave.  It is very beautiful and fitting for their family.  I cried a bit as I really do miss her.  Last year on Christmas Day, I was riding with Kim and her grandma to visit Sharon.  I never dreamt that day that two days later she would breathe her last breath.  You and Bunky had to come and pick me up so I could get home that day.  I wonder if the two of you know how very much that meant to me as it was totally an inconvenience, and yet, it meant tons to me!

Last Christmas, Sharon was worried about the kid's Christmas gifts.  She had purchased BOSE radios for Keven, Corey, and Kim.  She called me, told me where they were, assigned a color for each of them, and asked me to wrap them, label them, and bring them when I came.  She wanted to see them open those gifts.  It was truly a tender moment.  I need to quit writing as I am in tears.  

Sometimes I wonder why the holidays often bring so much loss for families.  There have been several deaths lately and so many lives will forever be changed.  Last year it seems as though it was the same thing.  I wonder if the stress of this world just gets to be too much.  Uff . . . sigh . . . I just better quit writing . . .

Have fun with Pops tomorrow night. Drive safely and I love you MOST!
Mom

Day 27 - Family Matters

We all can't fit in the picture! Jesse and I got voted off the island :)

Tonight Rah and I are going to write together as we have spent the evening having our family Christmas.  Jesse, Jordan, and Sam all work this year for the holidays so we had to improvise a bit and celebrate a day early.  Grams came down and got to join in the fun with us so the evening was loads of fun!  

The roads were a bit treacherous on the first leg of the journey down here, but eventually, the more I headed west, the better they got.  I have been told; however, that the travels home tomorrow may not be all that great as there have been several inches of snow and then some freezing rain!  I had a couple of last minute things to pick up at the mall and popped in and did that too.  It was actually kind of quiet there which was really nice.  People are really friendly as the holiday seasons are finally winding down.  I am hoping that my "cute" UPS man has been delivering his wares for me as well.   I have some things that I am DEFINITELY waiting for.

We went for supper at "Wurst Bier Hall" which is always AMAZING!  We sampled everything, had a cocktail, and just enjoyed each others company.  There was a lot of laughter, a table filled with food, and loads and loads of love. We had a cute little server, I tipped him well, and wrote a note on his slip.  I hope that on some level it made his night as I am sure being a server this time of the year is not loads of fun.

After supper, we went back to Jordan and Sam's to open gifts.  I got some PIMPIN JOY stuff from the Bobby Bones show and a hatchet!!!!  They laughed at me when I asked for my hatchet, but I had so much fun during hunting season chopping up turnips in the food plot.  I am not kidding, there were turnips the size of my head!!!!!  Because my brother missed not one, not two, but THREE deer, the most fun I had was in the turnip patch.  I plucked those bad boys up and chopped them up for the deer.  It was loads of FUN!

The kiddos and Grams got what they wanted.  There was definitely an exercise theme for Jesse, Rah, and Sam, but the coffee snob wanted some fancy grinder for beans and a new french press.  He did make us some pretty amazing coffee!  He even shared his new favorite, cookies and cream fudge stripes.  I couldn't eat another bite so I left them for him.  

Jordan's cat Ollie does the coolest thing as he is a jumper.  He throws up wrapping paper into the air, and that cat jumps like 4 feet in the air and slaps it like a volleyball!  Kept us all entertained for a spell . . . then he plopped on the floor and crashed!

We are back at Rah's in our pjs so I am going to edit Sarah's cover letter quick and let her finish the blog. 

Today has been a pretty good day for all of us. I spent my morning getting the apartment cleaned up and working on some laundry. Mom would have been MORTIFIED if she would've seen the mess we had going on. Ha! Grandma came here a couple hours before Mom did, which was really nice. Jesse was still sleeping from his overnight shift so Grandma and I spent our time laughing, catching up on life, and watching movies. The two of us don't get very much quality time together so I took in every moment. 

As Mom already mentioned, we ate supper at Wurst Bier Hall. It's always a good choice! After that we went back to Jordan and Sam's to open gifts. Jesse and I only asked for workout related things. I got a really nice Reebok watch that I've had my eye on for a while, along with a sweet new (not your average) Nike bag. Jesse asked for a Rogue t-shirt, lifting belt, and knee supports for CrossFit. He's wanted the belt and knee supports for quite a while but hasn't wanted to spend the money on them so he's pretty excited. Mom also got the two of us an "our first Christmas" Precious Moments ornament, Jordan and Sam gave us a gift card to Rhombus Pizza (YUM!) and Grandma gave the two of us $100. We'll probably put the money towards our little anniversary shindig, although we're not totally sure what we're going to do yet.

Overall, the evening has been really enjoyable and fairly relaxing. There's not much better than spending time with loved ones. It is a little saddening that we won't all get to be together on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day but we do the best we can with the time we're given. Jesse and I will still have the opportunity to spend the night with mom on Christmas so we're looking forward to that. Mom found herself a new kitty by the dumpster and I cannot hardly wait to meet the little fluffball! It's going to be a busy few days but busy is okay in my book as long as I'm with family. 

Peace and blessings to everyone who may be reading!

Sarah and Sheila 

Day 26

Dear Mom,

I have sat down to try and write this post at least five times in the last hour but every time I pick up the computer, Grayboy starts pawing through all of my shopping bags causing all sorts of ruckus. So then I stomp over there and scare him away but a few seconds later, he's on the counter knocking things off. Uff, he is the devil cat. He's probably just starting his revenge for what I did to him a little while ago. Haha, ho ho ho!! 

Today was a long day of shopping for me. I was up and at it by around 10:30 and I didn't make it back home until 7:00. Crowds really weren't too terrible until everyone started getting off work this afternoon. I was dumb and saved target for one of my last stops. I literally walked in, told myself I didn't need anything from Target anyway, and then I walked back out. I got almost everything I needed with a couple of exceptions that I'll pick up on Wednesday before I head home on Thursday. It was kind of fun to spend the day alone buying gifts for other people. Rikki is at a super fun age right now too so when I was in ToysRus I just wanted to buy her everything. And then I wanted to buy myself the same things because they are awesome! 

I'm really excited for you and Grandma to come visit Jordan, Sam, Jesse and I tomorrow. Jesse told me a little while ago that he's supposed to have a training tomorrow night from 6:00-8:00pm. I definitely lost my marbles a little bit. I had no idea there was a training, and the whole point of you and Grandma coming tomorrow is so all of us can be together. Luckily, Jesse talked to his people and he was able to get in on the morning session instead. Whew! He's working tonight from 7:00pm to 7:00am tomorrow and then the training is from 8:00-10:00am so he'll have a long night but he'll get to sleep for a while when he gets home. 

Being a law enforcement wife can be really exhausting. Holidays are not easy to spend alone so when there was a chance that I was going to have to be without Jesse tomorrow (and it's not even Christmas yet) I was pretty bummed. Thankfully that all worked out for the best. Most times it doesn't. Jesse is back on night shifts now too. Tonight is his first one. I think he officially decided that he prefers the night shift. I prefer it for it too for everything other than having to sleep alone 3-5 nights a week. I like to think I am a little better prepared than most for the law enforcement wifely duties thanks to growing up with you and Dad while he was a trooper . . . I learned a lot from you guys. But just because I've known that some of these tough moments would be happening, doesn't make them any less difficult when the moment is actually here. My hope is that I'll adjust better as time goes on, or maybe just get a little stronger. Until then I hope you're prepared for my late night calls to ease my worries. 

Alright, now that I have finally gotten Grayboy to go to sleep, Booboo decided she needed to sleep too. Look how cute she is right now while I'm writing! Gahhh I love her. But now I must go clean, our apartment is still a total mess! Let me know when you're on our way tomorrow. 

Love you!

Rah and Booboo

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good Evening Mrs. Rah,

I think that you forgot to share a couple of things today, hence as a proud mama I am going to share them for you.  First, I am happy for you Mrs. 4.0!!!!  I think that it is pretty incredible with as much as you struggle to get writing, with the way you procrastinate, and with the stress that you sometimes cause me, that you doubt your abilities to NAIL IT!  I am so PROUD of you baby girl!  Graduate school is BRUTAL and not a whole lot of fun most of the time.  Whereas undergrad is tough, it is like instructors take it to a whole other level and many struggle to make it through.  Good job on carrying your 4.0 into the last two semesters of school.  You've GOT THIS!

I cannot believe how fast Christmas has creeped up this year!!  I have never, ever been as far behind as I am this year.  It seems as though I am hurrying and scurrying to try and finish every last minute thing!  I hit the send button a couple of times last night and now am hoping that those things also make it.  I made a dash trip to Grand Forks to finish up, and I am proud to say that I have finally completed everything!  Well, pretty sure.  I just remembered a couple of minor things that I would like to do IF I can find the time.

I feel your pain on the law enforcement wife.  I am not gonna lie Rah, it is a tough path!!!  I know that you know this as you lived it growing up.  Do you remember all of the holidays that we all went alone and dad either met us or couldn't make it at all?  Do you remember all of the times we thought he would be there and then he got a call and couldn't make it home?  Do you remember all of the trainings, and inservice trips, missed events, and things where pops was MIA?  You probably don't remember because I did the best that I could to make things some sort of normal amidst the variables of being the wife of a state trooper.  It is NEVER going to be an easy path, and guess what, you and Sam are both on this same journey.

This is the first Christmas that we will not all be together.  I hate it!  I love sharing Christmas Eve or Christmas Day with you kiddos.  I love going to church together (I will go alone). I love having you all in my house where we can laugh, have a little wine, some snacks, and just enjoy one another.  I love getting up in the morning and sitting in our PJ's and blankets while we open gifts from Santa.  BUT that will not be our reality this year, and to be totally truthful, I hate it!  However, I am incredibly proud of Bunky and Jesse.  I am proud of Sam who will also be working.  And I am totally proud of you too!  What matters most is not the day we spend together, it is simply that we are together!

I am so looking forward to tomorrow night with you kiddos and Grams!  She is super excited too.  We will share some food at Wurst Beer Hall, open some gifts, and there will be memories made.  THAT is what matters.  So whereas there are some things that may not ever be the same, and there are sacrifices that we make for those that have chosen jobs that require "shift" work,  we are still blessed that we have one another.  One thing that I have learned over the years is that life is short Rah.  You never know when this will be your last moment so you have to make the most of the ones that we have.  God blessed us with each other . . . THAT is all that matters.

Most,

Mom

Day 25 - A Christmas Miracle!

Dear Rah,

I have spent much of the day just loafing around.  I think it is nice to have one of those days occasionally.  You know the ones where there is not a lot of demands on one's time.  Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, they are truly a gift. 

Because I really do not have much to share tonight, I want to share the gift that my friend Karin got today.  I have shared on the blog how difficult this holiday season was as it has been almost a year since she has seen her Marine son Boe.  Boe is stationed in California and will be deployed in March or April.  Last night at the party, she talked about how she and Jimmy were going to swing a trip to California to see him before deployment.  She could hardly talk about it before she would choke up and have to change the subject.  

Boe's little brother Seth kept waiting for Boe to come through the door.  He was hoping his big brother would be there for his Christmas program, and then that came and went.  Then he hoped his brother would make it for another program, and that one came and went too. It is not like the movies or the television shows Karin told him.  She had to break it to him over and over that his brother would not be coming home for Christmas, in fact, she had not idea if Seth would even see him before Boe got deployed.  Listening to Karin broke my heart.

Today, a miracle happened.  I went on Facebook and saw pictures of Boe walking through the door to his mama's open arms.  The video that was shared melted my heart and made me cry.  I hope that for those that see it tonight, it will do the same.  I prayed that Boe would make it home, Karin prayed that Boe would make it home, and many, many others prayed for the same thing .  .  . Boe came home.  All I can say tonight is "Best gift ever" and for my friend and her family "BEST DAY EVER!"

No more words . . . just that tonight:)

I love you most,
Mom

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mom, 

I'm not going to say much tonight other than that I am so excited to see that Boe came home to surprise his family! The video is beautiful! I always enjoy watching videos of soldiers returning home to see their loved ones. They make me emotional every single time, just like this one did. I hope Karin and the rest of the family get to spend some quality time with their soldier before he is deployed. As always, sending my love and prayers to them! 

Rah

Day 24

Dear Mom,

I am currently working on editing my resume and cover letter but the darn format in Word just doesn't want to work with me! I originally created both of these online at livecareer.com but I only used the free trial so now If I want to go back and edit both of those without having issues, I have to pay either $34.95 for one month or $95.40 for a whole year. I don't want to pay for either! Such a rip off. 

I had a pretty good night at work last night. We were fairly slow all evening but then at 10:00pm the Bison game and Force game both finished and Taylor and I got slammed! We had probably 10 people in there until 12:15 so we didn't get any closing work done ahead of time. I finally made it home around 1:30am. Normally I'm home by 12:30. That part was frustrating but it was worth it for the extra money we made. I think we left with $235. Not too shabby. 

When we cut down to closers at work, one person stays on the floor and one person is behind the bar. Taylor doesn't like being on the floor so usually that's where I end up. I don't mind it. Well anyway, last night I had this table leave my tip with a post card that I just assumed was filled out so I put it on the bar for Taylor to put in the beer mail basket. My manager ended up looking at it and then he called me over to show it to me. The postcard was addressed to my name. It said, "Dear Sarah, thank you for the great service! Merry Christmas!" And then under the address, they wrote their names. I don't know who they were but that totally made my night. In an industry where we hear a lot about what we're doing wrong and not much about what we do right, things like that can really make our day. Never underestimate the power of a little hand written note to your server when they do a good job! 

Tomorrow around this time I'll be done with work for a few days. I'm excited about that. The apartment is pretty messy right now so tomorrow evening I'm going to do some serious cleaning and then I get to spend Monday Christmas shopping, wrapping gifts and watching Christmas movies. I'm debating if I want to try and convince Jesse to come shopping with me. I'd like to have someone to go with but he would probably go nuts with all the people. Plus, he hates shopping. He doesn't even come to the grocery store with me. It'll probably be best for me to go alone anyway to just get the stuff I need and get out. Then on Tuesday you and Grams will be coming to Fargo to celebrate Christmas with Jordan, Sam, Jesse and I. That should be fun!! =) 

I really wish I had more to say today but my life is pretty monotonous right now. Hope you're going to be writing about your new little kitty that you found by the dumpster. I want to know more! 

Love you!

Rah

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Rah Rah,

As you know, I am DD for a group headed to a Christmas party tonight, hence the reason that I am writing early.  I know that you work late so am assuming that you will be doing the same thing.  Git er DONE!  I woke up this morning to no water!  Things froze up in the well house so that was the start to my day.  My landlord and his step son were over almost immediately and got it taken care of relatively fast so that was good.

BINGO was AWESOME last night.  There were so many kiddos, parents, and grandparents that our Drum Hall was nearly full and we had to add more tables.  There were tons of toys for people to win, and even 3 Kindle Fire's.  I was actually the BINGO caller which was loads of fun!  Everyone that was helping was in such a happy place and some kiddos are getting some really cool toys this Christmas.  Additionally, our Student Senate raised over $1000.00 which will help them on a trip they will take over Spring Break.   It was soooooooo needed and helped to really get me in the Christmas Spirit.

Sooooooooooo . . . there are kitties at the Holt dumpsters which actually causes me a lot of stress and anxiety this time of the year.  As you know, Lucy was a trash kitten and you know how much I love her.  Lucy is like a dog.  She comes running when I come home, makes a ton of noise, and even lets me scratch her belly.  My friend Karin dropped her off at the Holt Humane Society . . . aka  Sheila's!

When Kim came to pick me up, she told me about a sweet little kitty sitting in the dumpster.  I think she is a bleeding heart too!  GRRRRRRRR!  I went and this sweet little girl (I think) was sitting all wet, crying, and shaking.  UGHHHHHHH!  Because I called you, you already know where this went and what happened.  Christmas Kitty Part II is now at my house.  AND MAMA is MAD!!!  She has growled around over and over and over and over.  She is really MAD at me.  She even smacked at me a few times!!!  UFF DA!  It could get ugly at the Michaels Hacienda!

By the way, she does NOT match the others in the house.  She is a CHATTY Kathy and talks as soon as you come near her.  Today I have been wrapping all of my gifts, with the Christmas music in the background, and having a Christmas moment to my house.  BUT then cat fight.  Mama is just being annoying.  She is the only one, and little does she know, that most days she is on the short list to getting sent somewhere else anyway.  Dang that cat has an AWFUL disposition.  Harmony is her real name but nothing HARMONIOUS about that cat!  Can I just get rid of her???

I cannot have 4 cats in a house my size so I am in DEEP trouble because I really want to keep this little love muffin!  She is so sweet and cuddly.  She is a long haired little beauty and quite sweet. She sat and watched me wrap presents all day, and no, she does NOT belong on my microwave stand.  BUT SHE IS SOOOOOO CUTE!!!  I am in trouble when I finally have grand babies, because this MeMaw is gonna be a total pile of MUSH!

Then Christmas Kitty II sat on top of the presents, NOPE she does NOT belong there, but isn't she sooooooooo CUTE!  

I really have to start getting ready so am gonna scoot!  I love you and hope you have a good night.  I will try and find a good home, I will try and find a good home, I will try and find a good home . . . maybe:)
Mom

Day 23 - BINGO

Dear Rah,

I am not going to be available tonight because I am going to get my KIDDO fix if it KILLS me.  My plans with Auntie Dawn and Grams fell through and tonight is TOY BINGO at the Tribal College.  I sat around here thinking about if I should go or not, I want to but do I want to drive alone again, and low and behold, Kim offered to go with me!!!  I am super pumped and very excited!  She won't go to BINGO, but will be otherwise entertained;)  LOL!  I actually did cry!  AGAIN! 

I have spent the morning writing my final grant of 2016!  Like I told you last night, this really KILLS my creative brain.  Well . . . maybe that is not 100% accurate as much of what we do is pretty creative as we work towards better serving our students.  I did a pretty cool pilot course this year with the goal of eliminating remedial courses.  Completion rates went from less than 30% up to 70% and all students are registered for spring courses.  This was HUGE!  We will be changing our scheduling formate for the 2016-17 Academic year and that too really fires me up!  I love that I have the freedom in my job to try and change things and that most are open and receptive to riding that wave.  So while grant work isn't particularly creative, communicating what we are doing is pretty incredible.  I LOVE change, except in purses, backpacks, comfy clothes, old cozy slippers, blue jeans, cowboy boots, and things that give me some level of comfort.  There, I HATE CHANGE!

I got some Christmas presents from the UPS man.  I probably SHOULD NOT write this, but I have a very cute UPS man!  He is young and quite frankly adorable. Today he was talking to his girlfriend on his bluetooth when he came.  They were laughing when he told her to hang on a second.  He told me that they were trying to "trick" his son with presents under the tree.  In true mom fashion, I gave him some advice!  I am GOOD at making presents look/sound/be like something else.  I used to hate that all of you would guess at presents and often get them right!  Man I DESPISED that.  Left to my own devises I am pretty sneaky and crafty at HIDING gifts.  I had to be, because all of you were bubble busters and I needed to be smarter than each of you!

I chatted with Auntie Dawn this morning.  Dang I wish I was closer sometimes.  She still has shopping to do, Uncle Paul is gone, and she cannot get out of the driveway with her car.  She said that she is gonna shoot for Monday.  I hope that life can cut her a bit of a break in 2016 as she has had a brutal year!!!  The loss of her little Ava girl is incredible as her friends mourn the loss of their little child.  I cannot imagine that kind of pain.  If I ever lost you or Bunky a huge part of me would die with you.  This year they will be missing the giggles of a little one, the joy of unknown presents, and the bright eyes of their wee one.  I am praying for all of them.  Ava was not auntie's child, but she was connected to her on a level few can understand.  She even took pictures of mama in a special way to tell dad he was going to be a papa again.  Dawn has been there to take pictures, capture images, and to see a little girl grow.  She was there to capture images for her mama and daddy as that little girl passed from this world into the next.  Very deep sigh . . . tears . . .

I searched and searched and searched for the perfect gift for auntie this year.  Hours and hours and hours I looked.  I thought about it and I even prayed for something to come to me.  It did!  I cannot wait to give it to her and to see the expression on her face.  I hope that it touches her and helps her to know that I have not forgotten and that I am always here for her.

Today I am going to get a little something for the Kays boys.  I cannot forget them either this year, and although it is not much, I am going to do it anyways.  I wish I had money to do all of the things I would like to do in this world, but I guess I will have to be happy to give what I can and pray the rest will work itself out.

I love you and will post tomorrow night about BINGO!
Most.
Mom

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mom,

YAY for you getting to go to toy BINGO! I know how bummed you were about missing Santa day at the college so this kind of makes up for that, a little. I hope you have loads of fun! 

Your UPS man is easy on the eyes, eh?? Surely that's why you have ordered all of your gifts online this year. Ha! Good thing you gave him tips on how to make a package sound like something it's not. I don't think I was much of the guesser. I always liked to shake my packages but I liked to be surprised. Jordan and Dad were the guessers, and still are! It drives me nuts too. Dad guesses all of his Santa stuff every single year so now Santa does her best to purchase gifts he would not think of. 

For someone who says they hate change in blue jeans and cowboy boots, you sure have a whole bunch of both of those! I would agree that you do not like change in the rest of things you listed, but in those two things I may be calling your bluff! =) 

I still haven't been feeling real well yet. It's been over a week now that I have been totally exhausted. Much more tired then normal with a nagging headache and swollen glands in my neck. I may go to the doc on Monday just to make sure I don't have mono or anything. My energy level has been almost nothing. Normally after I go to workout in the morning I feel really good and energized, but lately I've been even more tired and have needed a nap. We'll see if it continues over the weekend. 

My meeting with my advisor this morning went well. She's writing me a letter of recommendation for that job and she's taking a look over my resume and cover letter. We both had the idea that even if the job doesn't work out, I bet they would be willing to work with me for practicum. And maybe that would lead to a job after my 150 hours are up. Still crossing my fingers that I would get the position because it would be nice to be paid for my work, but it would also be a huge relief to have practicum figured out, along with a great opportunity. 

One random thought before I go get ready for work. Have you seen Kris Jenner's Christmas decorations in her house. Oh. Em. Gee. So beautiful! Some may think it's a little much but I LOVE it! 

Alright, I'm off to work for our ugly sweater day. You should like our page on Facebook . . . they'll be posting pictures all evening. It's under JL Beers South Fargo. =) 

Love you lots!

Rah

Day 22

Dear Rah,

You may not know this, but I always have 2 alarms set on my phone in the morning.  The first one is a warning for the next one that goes off 10 minutes later.  I barely woke up to the first one this morning, and after the second, I snuggled back into bed.  Then I couldn't remember if the first one had gone off or not.  By the time I realized that indeed it had, I was 10 minutes late getting started this morning.  DUMB!  Thank GOD I always pick out my clothes in the evening because that helps me to make some time up.  I left 8 minutes late, but there was still hope to be on time.  MAYBE!

This morning the roads were pretty crappy on the way to work.  I got behind a snowplow going 40+ mph, and I thought to myself, SERIOUSLY is this how the day is going to start out???  Couple that with the fact that Minnesotans have not gotten their winter driving skills up to par yet, and you have a second variable in the recipe to be LATE for work. Yes indeedy, it was looking to be a stressful day.  BUT I did make it on time and I DID NOT even speed. Thankfully after the first leg of my journey there was limited traffic on the rest.  I rolled in at 9:01!

I mentioned that I have to make the rounds before I find my way into my office.  Because there is a skeleton crew this time of the year, that journey is relatively short.  This morning it was first stop at the front for Rachel and Zach, move down the hall and check in on Claudia in the library, and drop off my coffee so I could head back in for a chat with Olivia after I dropped my junk in my office.  I opened my office door, turned on the lights, and I saw a beautifully wrapped package on my desk!

I had no clue who put it there or when it was delivered, but I immediately put my stuff down, tenderly touched the package, and opened the card.  It was from my Claudia.  Claudia is one of the people that I really treasure at work.  She is a tender and kind soul who would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it.  Everyone LOVES Claudia, me included.  Over the years, we have had many talks about faith, life, and even love.  We have shared our stories, laughed, and on occasion cried together.  

When I wrote in the blog about missing Santa Day, she told me that she cried as she read the words.  Then she wrote this to me: "I hope you take the needs of your heart seriously. Our lives in this realm are such a short blip of time. Seize joy whenever you can. There's plenty of the other stuff. You give and give and give. You deserve to get, too. And I've noticed you ask for precious little." Rah there are few that worry about our hearts, and those that help to keep us in balance at work are a true blessing.  Jan at the church was kind of like my Claudia at the college.  Claudia worries about me and really cares if I am ok.  She sends me Blue Mountain Cards that totally make my day.  She takes time to visit and just talk. She is one of the few who has actually seen me cry.  Her gift today and thoughts throughout the year are priceless!  Everyone needs a Claudia or a Jan . . . I hope when you finally find your dream job that you are blessed with one!

My day was filled with meetings and writing, writing, and more writing! UGHHHHHHH!  I finished the grant writing from yesterday and submitted that, but wait, there is more to write.  I almost went over the edge when the writing that was supposed to be due tomorrow was requested for today.  I felt myself teetering on the brink of SANITY! I calmed down a bit when Deb reassured me that it was okay for it to be turned in tomorrow morning.  She came over to chat with me about the budget for the first grant, and she brought me a beautiful Christmas wreath!!!  Again, totally unexpected and greatly appreciated. I love the smell of fresh pine and will totally enjoy it until the last needles gently fall to the ground.  It meant more to me than she could possibly know.  DANG girl, I am crying!  Seriously what is wrong with me.

I texted Brian Kays today as I am hoping to get together with him when he is home on break. It has been a tough year for his family as he lost his mom.  As you know, Brian has been in my life since he was a little boy.  Dianne, his mom, made you your graduation quilt.  I remember how she invited me to come help, which is laughable as I do not sew.  The time we spent together doing both yours and Jordan's quilts was priceless. That coupled with the hours and hours and hours we spent making donuts for the church were opportunities to grow a friendship.  If those church walls could talk, man the stories they would tell! Dianne was an amazing woman and I really loved her.  I have lost so many friends early in life. . . Ruth, Deb, Janeen, Sharon, and Dianne just to name a few.  Each has left so many fingerprints on my life and none will be forgotten.  

No child should have to lose their mama . . . it just isn't fair.  Kim said that mamas are the yeast in the bread and I think that is a profound statement.  Without mamas, the yeast, the rest of the ingredients don't work the same way.  I think that she is right as I have seen so many try and figure out how things work after their moms have passed.  It is brutally painful.  I wish that there was more that I could do besides reaching out on occasion and letting those who have lost loved ones know that I am thinking about them.  Remember this Rah, God puts people's names on your heart for a reason.  In all likelihood they need you at that moment in time and he needs you to do the work of his hands.  Always, always listen to that voice!

I hope that your day was a good one, that you finished all of your schoolwork, and that you can just enjoy the rest of your break.  I love you most.

Moms

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mom,

I always set two alarms in the morning too, and usually I snooze it at least two or three times after that. Ha! Getting out of bed can be a very difficult task. How sweet that Claudia left you a little gift on your desk and recognized how much you do for others. She does sound just like your Jan! 

I'm happy that you chose to listen to your heart and checked in with Brian to see how he's doing. Christmas would not be an easy time of year to not have your mama. I really feel for him, and for Kim, and everyone else who doesn't have their mom to celebrate the holidays with them, like my friend, Kassi. It would incredibly difficult to find happiness in Christmas after losing anyone, but especially a mom. Thank GOD I have mine. 

My day wasn't anything special. I woke up early and went to CrossFit, we had a pretty good WOD today. Then I came back home and made some breakfast, unintentionally fell asleep on the couch for an hour, woke up and got ready to go get my nails done, bought a TEABERRY! I haven't had teaberry in far too long. Uff it was much needed! Then I had to shop around for an ugly sweater. We have a tap takeover and ugly sweater day at JL Beers tomorrow so Dan told us we needed to wear something ugly. My sweater is ugly but still kind of cute. I really wanted one with cats on it but I couldn't find one anywhere. And after that, I came home to clean the house, went to city league volleyball, stopped at Target for some laundry detergent and cat treats, and now here I am. Unfortunately, there were no surprise presents or sweet little notes waiting for me. Although, I shouldn't discredit Jesse as he did bring me home a Carmello bar today without me asking! He knows what time it is so chocolate is pretty important lol. I'm eating it as we speak. 

Today I got Sarah Larson's and Matt's save-the-date/christmas card in the mail. It's super cute. Their wedding is in May and I believe it's in Brainerd. Beautiful's and Bryce's save-the-date came a few weeks ago too. Their wedding is in, wait let me check my app, 176 days! In June. I can hardly wait for all of the wedding festivities to begin! Jesse and I are hoping that we can go visit Beautiful and Bryce in Iowa sometime in the near future. I don't think either of us have been to Iowa before, which is a little strange! Hopefully after Christmas we'll be able to come up with a weekend that works for all of us. Beautiful is much too far away from me right now!

The next few days are going to be busy for me with work, that's a good thing though. Fingers crossed that I make a lot in tips! I still haven't done hardly any Christmas shopping so I'm venturing out to do that on Monday. I knew I needed to get ahead on bills this month since I'm taking 4 days off over Christmas, so that's been my main goal up until now. Luckily, I was able to get ahead so everything I make in the next few days is going towards gifts. I'm sure it'll be a total zoo in town on Monday though. It makes me kind of sad that my Christmas shopping is happening so last minute. Like you, I definitely consider myself to be a giver especially at Christmas time, but this year I'm just not able to do as much as I'd like. And for me, one of the best parts of the holiday season is buying gifts ahead of time, then spending another day wrapping them with the Christmas music playing while Jesse is at work, and being able to enjoy having them under the tree for a while. That's always been part of my Christmas routine and it usually gives me several days of feeling the warm Christmastime fuzzies. I'm hoping that next year I can get back to my normal routine. 

FYI - I did get my school work done too. Whew! Well, everything except that assignment with the interview questions. I have the actual assignment completed but I'll have to send the interview questions and answers to my professor when I get them back. I have a meeting with my advisor first thing tomorrow morning to talk more about my practicum and thesis possibilities. That's mostly what my little Christmas break is going to consist of, finalizing my plans for each of those. I could let myself be bummed that I'll be spending break that way, but I'm actually really grateful that I'll have some spare time to focus on just that. Practicum and thesis are both pretty intimidating so I want to go into each as prepared as possible. I am officially in the home stretch! I can do it. =) 

I hope you get some rest tonight and have a good day tomorrow! Love you lots!! 

Rah